New Light

Tearing out pages in my notebook to symbolize changing my past, I’ve decided the reality I’m living is not the one I want anymore. It takes a little more than just wishful thinking to time travel to the past. So with all my might I finally get up the nerve and strength and fight and fight and fight some more. I don’t want to die today. I don't want to live this way, so I’ll take my destiny in my own hands. Without a real plan I take a step in a direction I haven’t tried yet. This is the definition of dramatic... This step, I chose not to go left, I chose right, right into a new life. Smoke in my distance because of how fast I’m going. In my old reality there was no way of knowing. On this journey I experienced the release of fear and the takeover of love. Real love. I saw the face of God on snowcapped mountains and heard the voices of guardian angels. At times I didn’t think my heart could contain the beauty. some sights being overwhelming as it engulfed my soul and essence and brought my life to the present it would seem the past was erased as the taste of god’s perfection. Under his protection this is my confession: if I would of died from all that I experienced, what a good death it would have been. I would gladly relive this life a million times to experience the beauty over and over again. I never knew grace on this level, to go back… to go back now? Naw I won’t even think like that. My existence is forever changed. This new life is to blame. If I can maintain this vibration in a year’s time I will reach a revelation. A true separation from somebody that I used to know, from somebody that refused to grow, from someone who was scared to let his light show. Halleluiah, the highest praise because I am truly blessed to have been lifted out of the slums that I once called home. Thankful to be carried out and shown a new light, a new way of life. This state or greater than I shall remain if it’s written.

Queen to Be <3

Single and yet my heart was attached to an idea that hadn’t yet manifest. Many poems, such as this, have been written in your absence. Many moments in dream time have been dreamt like this. Once upon a time in this perfect creation we created life that took on its own manifestation. Who’s to say we’re not still dreaming only waiting for the time we wake up? Wouldn’t that make you want to throw caution to the wind and try out this thing that started within. Beautiful music screams from your soul inviting me to help compose. Who knows the art that will unfold? I walk with no expectations so there can be no contradictions. I prefer to express the truth anyhow. Pardon me for a moment again this will only take a second, I require your full attention for what I’m about to mention. Separated from that life that chose to ignore the light of a queen, I’ve steeped inside that very same light to find true meaning. I see walls up and I know the reasons but my presence is to symbolize the end of that season. See now its spring, the time God makes all things new. I’m not here to play around; I’m here to be a king to you. I’ve been warned not to bullshit when your hearts screams in my direction, seeing that I won’t settle for less you seem to be my reflection. Your worth is what I want. Forgive me if I’m being to blunt, but feel the things these eyes have seen and behold your beauty, a marvelous thing. I mean, the manifestation of the very same dream that I pushed aside as never happening is greeting me on the other end to behold, all this puts me in my zone and now I have to work for what’s unknown. But automatically, magically I already know what to do and know what to say as if I wrote this story or seen the play yesterday, many others stood in this place and chose to leave this position in disarray. How unfortunate those of little faith. I don’t mind earning another crown as I already know I’m a king. Ill conquer those blocks and walls and you will be my queen.

Experiencing What Will Now

No restrictions I’ll just let it flow. Fuck punctuation, fuck correct grammar and sentence structure the mind doesn't work that way anyway. Logic is flawed so fuck the laws of sensibility; understanding is all that is necessary and even that is perception, always relying on past experiences, let this be a past experience to your next assumption and understanding. If I wake up with you on my mind does that mean that I Love you? Because you invade my dreams every night and upon awakening my energy is drained, what does that mean? What is that? Is it a warning? Is it deep passion? Is it lust? If I tell you I love you will that be too soon? Would you be mad to know that I’ve loved before and that I could possibly love again? The intensity is always different but nonetheless it is love. How irrelevant is our distance when our destination is our real existence? I understand trials and tribulations, I also understand appreciation, but if what will to be, WILL TO BE isn’t it already now? Which brings be back to loving you. And in fact I do. I don’t need to know you, I know you and regardless of whom you are or will to be I will accept the fact that love is not dependent on who you were and who you will be, but who you are to me in this/that very moment. Political correctness is out the window, so fuck what they think and how this process is supposed to go. I’ve over fighting evidence of reality, I give up on the struggle contradicting to what I feel and know is real. I mean prove emotions; touch love, taste hate, hear joy, what do our five senses prove? Now what? I’ll tell you what, you are love and I see you, I see love

THREECITES to CONFUSIONS

FIRSTCITE,

Remnants from an old plan, I keep remembering me and you. Like a premonition from a past life this life can get confused. Wondering and thinking that I’m making the right judgments in all situations but my perception seem to be the way of a different destination. How can I follow a road map to a place I’m not sure even exist. Is it even what I’m supposed to be reaching for? My direction is confused because I’m not sure what end result I should choose or chose. Following your heart gets cloudy on this level of understanding when there’s no clear understanding. Trying to be submissive to my intuition, but where is the security?  What about my insecurities? Confusion seem to be that dominate theme

SECONDCITE,

Searching for that unconditional high, I’ve become a fiend for that dream. Unsuppressed emotions, unrestricted actions, I’ve forgotten how to separate myself from myself. The past me is still me, the new me is already me, Urges from an old way of life are disrupting the new republic, a new stance? At first glance it looks like I have it under control, but that is an illusion. The nights I tossed and turned and felt the burn of stress with nothing to suppress, this is my life I guess. Am I dead yet? What’s the point of having premonitions when the path to that reality is missing? Confusion is the ultimate factor, in everyone’s eyes I’m a disaster. I don’t want you to see me. I want to be left alone to hide and at the same time I need your love and admiration, your well wishes and deep kisses. I just don’t feel I deserve them right now. How can someone so smart be in this predicament? How can someone so smart not be able to operate in this world? I just want that unconditional high. A cure for that addiction to confliction and mental contradiction.

THIRDCITE,

Restless sleep but not from the lack of trying. My mind is just devouring the temptation to worry about things past and things to become. Wondering  off to Imagery places behind and before me. For a brief moment I raise up and behold all that I have created in front of me, all that is now was delayed manifestation of my imaginary past perceptions. The present is the confession of toughs thoughts, the future is evidence of what my perception is right now. My perception becomes me, the future is me. I am my experience and manifestation. Explosion of unnatural thoughts, they would have me to think, but natural is its true reality. I don’t want to take responsibility for the “What happen?” and the “Might could be’s”. Perception being a gift I’ve used it as a curse. A successful manipulation of perception is a successful campaign of control. My next move is my best move when I’m calculating the facts I’ve been given. The truth is I may be working against my own true purpose. Communication is key and Knowledge power. So I ponder at twilight and seem to revolute at midnight when I truly think about these insights