FIRSTCITE,
Remnants from an old plan, I keep remembering me and you.
Like a premonition from a past life this life can get confused. Wondering and
thinking that I’m making the right judgments in all situations but my perception
seem to be the way of a different destination. How can I follow a road map to a
place I’m not sure even exist. Is it even what I’m supposed to be reaching for?
My direction is confused because I’m not sure what end result I should choose
or chose. Following your heart gets cloudy on this level of understanding when there’s
no clear understanding. Trying to be submissive to my intuition, but where is
the security? What about my
insecurities? Confusion seem to be that dominate theme
SECONDCITE,
Searching for that unconditional high, I’ve become a fiend
for that dream. Unsuppressed emotions, unrestricted actions, I’ve forgotten how
to separate myself from myself. The past me is still me, the new me is already
me, Urges from an old way of life are disrupting the new republic, a new
stance? At first glance it looks like I have it under control, but that is an
illusion. The nights I tossed and turned and felt the burn of stress with
nothing to suppress, this is my life I guess. Am I dead yet? What’s the point
of having premonitions when the path to that reality is missing? Confusion is
the ultimate factor, in everyone’s eyes I’m a disaster. I don’t want you to see
me. I want to be left alone to hide and at the same time I need your love and
admiration, your well wishes and deep kisses. I just don’t feel I deserve them
right now. How can someone so smart be in this predicament? How can someone so
smart not be able to operate in this world? I just want that unconditional
high. A cure for that addiction to confliction and mental contradiction.
THIRDCITE,
Restless sleep but not from the lack of trying. My mind is
just devouring the temptation to worry about things past and things to become. Wondering
off to Imagery places behind and before
me. For a brief moment I raise up and behold all that I have created in front
of me, all that is now was delayed manifestation of my imaginary past perceptions.
The present is the confession of toughs thoughts, the future is evidence of
what my perception is right now. My perception becomes me, the future is me. I
am my experience and manifestation. Explosion of unnatural thoughts, they would
have me to think, but natural is its true reality. I don’t want to take responsibility
for the “What happen?” and the “Might could be’s”. Perception being a gift I’ve
used it as a curse. A successful manipulation of perception is a successful campaign
of control. My next move is my best move when I’m calculating the facts I’ve
been given. The truth is I may be working against my own true purpose. Communication
is key and Knowledge power. So I ponder at twilight and seem to revolute at
midnight when I truly think about these insights
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